the melting pot

“Ok Peggy, you are going to begin to feel a little sleepy.  Start to count backwards for me.”

As those words rang through my head in a blurry fog, I began to feel relaxed and sleepy.  I looked to the side of me from my horizontal position on the operating table and could see a buzz of activity happening all around.  Among the sea of medical faces that were swarming all around me, I saw my oncologist and my anesthesiologist. They both smiled at me.  Eyelids heavy, I sleepily smiled back.  “Ten, nine, eight…”  My eyes moved sluggishly upward and I could see several huge, round, bright lights above my head.  They were going in and out of focus.  “Seven, six…….” And then nothing.

Four months earlier, I had received devastating news.  I had Papillary Cancer.  Stage 3 Papillary Cancer, which means it had moved from my thyroid to my lymph-nodes.  That day I thought to myself, “But… I don’t want to have cancer!”   Time seemed to come to a halt.  Everything suddenly felt very surreal.  Priorities seem to be put instantly in order.  The last time my life slowed down to that pace was when my dad was sick and dying.  My world as I knew it, stopped, and all I focused on was my dad.  My kids were little at the time and I had to rely on my friends to take care of them as I would travel back and forth to South Bend to be with him and my mom.  I treasure those weeks with my dad.  Tragedy has a way of forcing us to take a step back, slow down and concentrate on what’s important in life.

Relationships and friendships are important.  How we give support and show love is the most important life lesson we learn.  When word slowly started to leak out that I was sick, my friends and family took up where I felt I couldn’t.  The meals started coming. I received daily cards and phone calls.  And in this technology age we’re living in, the texts on my phone lit up.    “What can I do?”  “What do you need?”  “How can I help?” “I’m praying for you.”  It’s hard to ask for help and even harder to know how to gracefully accept it.   Friends know this and take it upon themselves to just take over.  Im grateful for each and every one of them.

Four months, many Dr’s visits and two surgeries later, I’ve made it through the hard part. I’ve had one surgery to remove my Thyroid, which is the site where the cancer originated.  The second, to remove my lymph-nodes where the pesky cancer had moved to and was hiding.  Radiation is next.  I’ll continue to recover for a few weeks and then start a protocol to prepare my body for treatment doses of radiation.  Within a week or two of receiving those treatments, I will have a full body scan. At that time, I will know whether or not the cancer has traveled anywhere else in my body.  I’m encouraged that I will beat this ugly disease.  I’m looking at it as a huge inconvenience that will soon be over.  A bump in the road.

“Peggy…Wake up…”  gentle shaking….  “It’s time to wake up now, Peggy.  The surgery is done. Bruce is waiting for you…” As my eyes slowly opened back up, it was as if no time at all had passed.  I looked around me and saw the nurses from Northwestern Hospital standing by, smiling.  “You’re all done, honey.”  “Do you feel okay? Any nausea?”   Do I feel okay??  Yes,  I felt good.  A little numb.  I felt relieved that it was over.  I wanted to see Bruce and talk to my kids.

The next morning  I laid in my hospital bed, eager to go home and thought to myself  how fortunate I am to have my family and so many amazing friends in my life to grab hold of my hand when disasters hit.  I saw an ad on TV while laying in my bed.  It was from the NYC tourism board.  The Big Apple!  America, the melting pot!  I smiled and thought to myself, I have my own melting pot.  I have friends from every walk of life, from so many different cultural, ethnic and religious backgrounds.  They have different political viewpoints and different stances on religion.  Some conservative and some liberal.  They are all treasures to me.  They’ve been there for me from day one since I heard my unfortunate news.   The one common denominator that runs through all of them is the definition of friendship and love.  They are my melting pot!

pet peeves

As I sit in the middle of my beautiful kitchen, perched up high on one of my gorgeous leather island stools, I can’t help but be abundantly grateful for all the blessings in my life.  I have a wonderful husband, Bruce, and three sons who I could not love any more than I do.  My oldest son, Bruce Robert,  is named after his father and is just a joy to be around.  He is married to Lauren, an amazing and wonderful young lady who is the kind of girl all mothers dream of having as a daughter in law. My younger two sons, Scott and Brian, make us very proud and are incredible  young men.

I look around me and I think to myself, yes, I have so much.  A beautiful home, a wonderful family and a job I love.  My eyes travel around the room and I say a silent prayer of thanks for all that I have been given. My eyes travel over the beautiful granite counters and past the high end appliances when suddenly they stop on my husband, who is standing at the end of the counter eating what looks to be the biggest ham sandwich I’ve ever seen.  I just sit there and stare at him, wondering how any human can take a bite that big out of a sandwich without choking.  As he conquers the monster bite, I notice he has a little mayonnaise on the corner of his mouth.

He heads for the snack cabinet and starts to rustle around for something crunchy to eat with his gargantuan sandwich.  Ut oh, I hear the crinkling of a loud foil bag and see him grabbing for the Frito’s.  This is a pet peeve of mine.  Pet peeves are funny and we all have them. They can be something as little and insignificant as the way someone taps their fingers annoyingly on a table or as big as your tax bill increase each year.

Mine happens to be loud, noisy chewing.  It would be easy to just ignore my husbands superhuman ability to crunch at decibels that seem impossible to achieve, but the harder I try to focus on something else, the louder it becomes.   I become completely and solely in tuned to the noise.

“Margaret, I’m going to have some chips.”    That’s my cue to either move to the adjoining room and turn the volume of our theater size television up full blast, or to remove myself from the situation for the sake of harmony by going to the furthest corner of our house in the opposite direction of the kitchen.  This is the course I usually take.  As I sit in my room, which is on the 2nd floor, I wonder to myself how in the world I  can possibly still be hearing him.  Is this some kind of bad karma or latent punishment?  Was I a loud chewer in a previous life?

Two flights down I can still hear the freakishly loud chewing going on.  “chomp chomp chomp”  I start to question myself.  Am I being obsessive about something so trivial?  Am I a loud chewer and don’t realize it?  I wonder if other people can hear me chew a salad?  No!  I  chew with my mouth closed,  and I tend to do it quietly. Hmmph!  Why can’t men chew quietly like women do?

As I sit upstairs working so hard to ignore the thunderous chewing of food that’s drifting into my room,  I notice that the loud crunching starts to slow down and eventually comes to a stop. I can feel my irritation start to lift.  I start to look around my lovely bedroom.  I notice the beautiful bedspread and coordinating drapes.  I look adoringly at the two matching chairs that sit in front of the big window and think of how nice it is to sit there and look outside at my neighborhood.   And Just like that, my pet peeve goes back into hiding and I start to feel generously blessed again.  I have such a good life and have been given so much.  I have been especially blessed with an amazing husband who is giving and thoughtful and loving.  Yes, pet peeves are odd.