Saint Paddy’s Day

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!!

stpaddySt. Patrick’s Day is an awesome holiday to celebrate your Irish heritage — especially if you don’t have any. Everyone’s Irish on St. Paddy’’s Day, or so they say. Tho we gather together to eat corned beef, wear shamrocks and look for suckers to pinch for good luck, St. Patrick’s real rise to fame stems from another source altogether.  According to tradition, Patrick returned to Ireland to convert the pagan Irish to Christianity.  He spent many years evangelizing in the northern half of Ireland and converted “thousands”. Tradition holds that he died on 17 March

As a saint, Patrick rated an official feast day from the Catholic Church.  Saint Patrick’s Day!!

Everyone seems to love this holiday.  Adults love it because of the association with carousing.  Children love it because of the thrill of setting traps with the very real hope of catching a leprechaun.  They also get to do what kids do best, practice their fine art of pinching (for good luck, of course).

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Chicago dye’s it’s river green and celebrates with a massive and festive parade which is widely attended by people from all walks of life.  And if it’s one thing Chicagoans know how to do, it’s party on St Paddy’s Day.

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But, should there be limits to our carousing and pinching and over the top celebrating?  From where I am sitting, there are some definite don’t s  associated with this holiday…Here are a few tips of what “not to do” on Saint Patrick’s day…

Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay said it best.  Her blog is amazing with it’s always humorous “lists”.  You can read more of her humor here.  But first, let’s celebrate the don’t s of St Paddy’s day.  Enjoy!

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10. On St. Patrick’s Day, do not dye any of your body hair green. If you do, at best, you will get strange looks and a possible reprimand from your boss. At worst, you will have to live with the color until the hair grows out or your divorce is final, whichever comes first.

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9. On St. Patrick’s Day, do not try to wish everyone a happy day with a made up Irish brogue. If you do, at best, you might offend a genuine Irish person. At worst, the genuine Irish person offended might just be the local police officer.

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8. On St. Patrick’s Day, do not believe you need to bring your homemade corned beef and cabbage to the office to share. If you do, at best, you might have coworkers avoiding your cube since the smell of cabbage might lead them to believe it is something else. At worst, the hazmat team from office services will have foamed down your work area before you have a chance to explain.

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7. On St. Patrick’s Day, do not think Guinness stout drinks just like any other beer when you go out to celebrate with your coworkers. If you do, at best, you might have to find a ride home. At worst, you might have to rehearse your apology for the coworkers and your boss in an effort to salvage your job.

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6. On St. Patrick’s Day, do not sing your favorite limericks no matter how innocent you believe them to be. If you do, at best, you will start a round of Limericks that aren’t so innocent. At worst, the local authorities will be called in to calm the disturbance reported by those within earshot of what can best be described as X-rated songs.

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5. On St. Patrick’s Day, do not follow the suggestion of a coworker to play a Leprechaun at the cake and coffee gathering. If you do, at best, you will be the laughing-stock till next year. At worst, you will be asked by your boss to play the leprechaun at the family St. Patrick’s Day picnic and there is still snow on the ground.

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4. On St. Patrick’s Day, do not wish everyone Erin Go Bragh unless you know what it means. If you don’t know what it means and you say it to the wrong person, at best, you may get some weird looks. At worst, you may find your self embroiled in a political battle with someone with a different view.

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3. On St. Patrick’s Day, do not think Bushnell’s in coffee is no more harmful than sugar. If you do, at best, you may find yourself slurring your words when you say Erin Go Bragh. At worst, you may find yourself totally wide awake and unable to find your way home.

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2. On St. Patrick’s Day, do not put any kind of green-colored hat on your head. If you do, at best, you will look ridiculous. At worst, there will be several photos snapped that you will pay large sums to have deleted.

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1. On St. Patrick’s Day, do not drink anything green. If you do, at best, you will have the lips of a lizard. At worst, you will need to schedule a dentist appointment to have your teeth restored to their original color.

Happy St. Paddy’s Day!!

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