Tag: dad

Where Were You On October 2, 1998?

On By Peggy BereIn Musings17 Comments

It feels a bit like cheating.  But, some words are worth repeating.

I woke up this morning thinking about this exact post and knew it was worth re-posting.  For those of you out there whose hearts are tender – to the new readers to my blog since I last ran this piece, I dedicate this to you.

october

Where were you on October 2, 1998?

You probably have no clue.  If you racked your brain trying to remember, you probably would not be able to recall.   But, if I asked you where you were on other significant dates in history, chances are you’d probably not only recall where you were, but what you were doing and who you were with.

Where were you September 11th, 2001?  Where were you when Kennedy got shot?  Or, when Pearl Harbor got bombed?  Some of you may recall where you were when Nixon resigned.  Or, when John Lennon got shot.  Or, when Elvis died.

These significant days in history act as markers on the timeline of our lives.  Because they were so catastrophic and life altering, we can remember exactly where we were and what we were doing in that specific moment in time.

We can also recall our specific whereabouts in our times of personal crisis and joy.  When a baby is born.  When a loved one dies.  When a best friend calls us up and tells us they are getting married.

October 2, 1998 – a significant day in my life.

You may not recall where you exactly were then, but I know exactly where I was.  That was the day my Dad lost his battle with Cancer.  I was with him.  My Mom and one of my two Brothers were there, too.  16 years ago today.  (That’s so hard to believe!!) I was sitting on the side of his bed holding his hand.  It was the first time I was with someone when they took their last breath.  It was the first time I held someones hand and felt them go completely still and feel their life end.  It was surreal.  And sad.  And at the moment, something I could not wrap my brain around.  Even tho I knew he was near the end of his life, nothing quite prepares you for that moment when your parent actually passes away.  Breathing in life one moment – and in the next instance, complete stillness.  Their soul moving towards Heaven.  It was a powerful moment in my life and a precise moment on my personal timeline where I will always remember where I was and what I was doing.

I’ve lost both of my parents now.  My Dad 16 years ago and my Mom more recently – just 20 months ago.  February 14th – Valentines Day 2014.  I did not have the privilege to be with her and tell her goodbye when her time to leave this earth arrived.  But I’m confident that she knew exactly how I felt and how much I loved and respected her.  I’m confident that she knew how much all of my siblings loved her.

While I’m still adjusting to life without my Mom, the old saying really is true – “Time Heals All Wounds.”  You start to come out of the fog gradually and learn to smile and laugh again.

My Dad was Irish.  He was hardworking and funny and sentimental.  He liked sports, Notre Dame and beer.  He passed his sense of humor and hard work ethic on to all of us.  Thanks Dad!!  When my brothers and sisters and I get together, all we have to do is say one word to each other or give each other one look that was his and we all start laughing.  And we laugh long and hard.  And we remember him with fondness and joy and with the sentimentality that he unknowingly passed on to all of us.  Time heals all wounds.

We remember and speak of our personal experiences and that helps to keep those collective memories of history and personal tragedy and triumph vivid and fresh.  And then, suddenly, 10 years have passed.  Or, 20.  Or, 50

I miss my Dad.  Especially today.  I miss my Mom, too.  I will never quite get used to them being gone – or not being able to pick up the phone to talk to them.  And, I’ll never get used to no longer being able to just get in the car to take a road trip to see them.  But I am grateful for two such loving, selfless parents who showered me with unconditional love.  I’m grateful for the memories of their laughter and smiles.  And kindness.

When was YOUR October 2, 1998??  We all have them.

The good new is, Time Heals all Wounds.

familyblogpic

Source: Where Were You On October 2, 1998?

Where Were You On October 2, 1998?

On By Peggy BereIn Musings93 Comments

nd

Where were you on October 2, 1998?

You probably have no clue.  If you racked your brain trying to remember, you probably would not be able to recall.   But, if I asked you where you were on other significant days in history, chances are you’d probably not only recall where you were, but what you were doing and who you were with.

Where were you September 11th, 2001?  Where were you when Kennedy got shot?  Or, when Pearl Harbor got bombed?  Some of you may recall where you were when Nixon resigned.  Or, when John Lennon got shot.  Or, when Elvis died.

These significant days in history act as markers on the timeline of our lives.  Because they were so catastrophic and life altering, we can remember exactly where we were and what we were doing in that specific moment in time.

We can also recall our specific whereabouts in our times of personal crisis and joy.  When a baby is born.  When a loved one dies.  When a best friend calls us up and tells us they are getting married.

October 2, 1998 – a significant day in my life.

You may not recall where you exactly were then, but I know exactly where I was.  That was the day my Dad lost his battle with Cancer.  I was with him.  My Mom and one of my two Brothers were there, too.  16 years ago today.  (That’s so hard to believe!!) I was sitting on the side of his bed holding his hand.  It was the first time I was with someone when they took their last breath.  It was the first time I held someones hand and felt them go completely still and feel their life end.  It was surreal.  And sad.  And at the moment, something I could not wrap my brain around.  Even tho I knew he was near the end of his life, nothing quite prepares you for that moment when your parent actually passes away.  Breathing in life one moment – and in the next instance, complete stillness.  Their soul moving towards Heaven.  It was a powerful moment in my life and a precise moment on my personal timeline where I will always remember where I was and what I was doing.

I’ve lost both of my parents now.  My Dad 16 years ago and my Mom more recently – just 8 months ago.  February 14th – Valentines Day 2014.  I did not have the privilege to be with her and tell her goodbye when her time to leave this earth arrived.  But I’m confident that she knew exactly how I felt and how much I loved and respected her.  I’m confident that she knew how much all of my siblings loved her.

While I’m still adjusting to life without my Mom, the old saying really is true – “Time Heals All Wounds.”  You start to come out of the fog gradually and learn to smile and laugh again.

My Dad was Irish.  He was hardworking and funny and sentimental.  He liked sports, Notre Dame and beer.  He passed his sense of humor and hard work ethic on to all of us.  Thanks Dad!!  When my brothers and sisters and I get together, all we have to do is say one word to each other or give each other one look that was his and we all start laughing.  And we laugh long and hard.  And we remember him with fondness and joy and with the sentimentality that he unknowingly passed on to all of us.  Time heals all wounds.

We remember and speak of our personal experiences and that helps to keep those collective memories of history and personal tragedy and triumph vivid and fresh.  And then, suddenly, 10 years have passed.  Or, 20.  Or, 50

I miss my Dad.  Especially today.  I miss my Mom, too.  I will never quite get used to them being gone – or not being able to pick up the phone to talk to them.  And, I’ll never get used to no longer being able to just get in the car to take a road trip to see them.  But I am grateful for two such loving, selfless parents who showered me with unconditional love.  I’m grateful for the memories of their laughter and smiles.  And kindness.

When was YOUR October 2, 1998??  We all have them.

The good new is, Time Heals all Wounds.

 Mom&DAd

what’s your muse telling you?

On By Peggy BereIn Uncategorized14 Comments

beach-readsOne of my dear friends won a writing contest.  An actual contest for showcasing her fabulous and gifted work.  As a result, she has been printed.  No, wait.  Not printed.  Published.  What an honor! Congratulations to her!!

Lesley is an inspiration to me.  She is a gifted writer.  She writes in a way that is mesmerizing.  You start reading her words and you can not stop.  Her writing is like a good,  gooey romance novel.  Only better.  Or, a good mystery novel when you get to the part where they are finally going to reveal who did it. It’s hard to put her writing down.

This is exciting!  I can say I actually know someone who has been published.  Well, I actually know 2 people who have been published.  My cousin Matt wrote a book.  I was thrilled for him the day his boxes of printed books arrived at his home.  He snapped a picture of himself standing over the opened box.  Or, maybe it was just a picture of the box.  Side flaps peeled back.  There they were.  All stacked up.  Beautiful and new.  He had followed his muse and he was looking at the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

A muse?~ you ask.  When I use that word I mean some kind of spirit that dumps creative inspiration into the mind.  The source of an artist’s inspiration.  A prompt.  Kudos to Lesley and to my cousin, Matt, for following their Muse.’

So how is following your muse different from following your heart or the secret wishes of things you’d like to do in your life?

After my dad passed away, my mom and I got close.  She started to visit me more often.  She comes for long weekends.  We spend time shopping or going to movies or going out to lunch.  And traveling.

I remember vividly a conversation I had with her one day while we were making dinner.  We talked about regrets.  She told me she was sad that she had not traveled more in her life.  That there were places in the world that she wanted to see.  Italy.  She wanted to go to Italy.   My dad was not a traveler.  Therefor, my mom did not travel.  She felt it was too late.

c1dd542c8dab1157e9fa2cb2af367a3fThe week after she and I had that conversation, I was with a group of friends at a meeting.  Out of the blue, one of them said to me that she was traveling to Italy in the fall.  She was going on one of those organized bus tours and they had a few spots left.  Would I be interested in going with her?  I smiled to myself and thought, wow, what bizarre timing for that offer to be given to me.  Fate?  Absolutely!  Wasn’t I just discussing this with my mom?

At that point in my life I had never traveled out of the country before.  I rushed home and phoned my mom.  (Well, first I called my Hubs and told him about this great chance!!   I had shared with him ~ and he knew of my mom’s dreams of traveling.   He encouraged me to go on a trip with her.  “Maybe she’d like to visit Michigan or Wisconsin with you!!”  Ha!  I had bigger plans!!)

I told my mom about my girlfriend’s fall plans and about this great opportunity.  Within hours we were scheduled for what would end up being the first of many trips together.  Overseas, no less!

That day, my mom grabbed on to an opportunity and it opened up an entire new world to her.  Like her daughter ~ me ~ she has a passion for traveling and embraces it whenever the chance arises.

My mom and I are close.  We’ve grown closer through our travels.  We have a wonderful relationship.  Somewhere along the way it changed from mother/daughter to a sincere friendship. Oh, I still look up to her with the respect a parent deserves.  But, we can sit and visit, whether on the phone or in person, and talk for hours like two little old ladies.  There is true joy in visiting with her.  We laugh together.  A lot.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I regret I did not do that!?   We all have regrets.  The beauty of these missed opportunities is that it is never too late to do something you have secretly wished of doing.  To follow a dream.  To right a wrong.

What’s your “muse” saying to you?  When was the last time you sat down and thought about what you really love in life?  Are you where you want to be?  If not, What are you waiting for?

On a side note ~ I find it oddly comforting that today of all days I think about my friendship with my mom, the travels we have shared and the close bond that has formed since my dad has died ~  I find it strangely wonderful because it was 15 years ago today that my dad passed away. (15 years!  How can that be?  I miss him so much. )  I know he’d get a kick out of knowing that her travel horizons have broadened so widely.

02d8013234ed5dcb5058bdae8ad01779