Out There In The Forest

 

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Last year, just about this time, I surprised Clark with a puppy.   It was a spur of the moment decision on my part to go out and get him (against the wishes of my dear, sweet hubs.) I saw no reason not to adopt a four-legged, fury friend into the family.  My hubs could think of many reasons to just keep things they way they were.   In the end, I decided to just go against his reasoning and take the plunge. So, I went out and adopted Duncan, our adorable 12 month old Puggle.  And for that reason, I take full responsibility of my faithful companion.

Now nothing makes Duncan’s tail wag faster than knowing he is going for a car ride.  If the destination at the end of that ride is anywhere near a park or woods, he is in heaven.

One of the most appealing things about living in Palos Park is that you are centered amid the forest preserves of Cook County.  There are acres and acres of recreational land and open space where millions of visitors and residents alike can take advantage of hiking, biking, fishing, canoeing or simply relaxing and taking in the wonders of nature.  And, spending time with their dogs on walks or hikes.

My youngest son, Brian, has been trying to convince me for the past 6 months that the preserves are by far a better place to go with Duncan than just taking him on  our usual walks around the neighborhood.  I’ve been reluctant to heed his advice because frankly, I’m with the little pooch all day long and have come to learn about his deep streak of stubbornness.  In short, we have trust issues.  I’m not so sure he’d stick close to me or would come if he got too far away and I called him.

Now, this past week, it was unusually warm for this time of year.  I found myself standing at the sliding glass door looking out over what I had hoped was the end of the frigid, Chicago weather. It was gorgeous outside.  The sky was clear blue.  I looked down at my puppy who was sitting next to my feet, looking back and forth between his outdoor playground and up at me.  His tail would wag every time our eyes met.  It was as if he was speaking to me through his big brown eyes.  In the back of my mind I could hear my son’s voice  – “take him to the woods.”

And so, I did.

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I changed into my hiking boot and grabbed his leash and off we went.  He bounded into the backseat of the car as if he knew where we were going.  His tail was wagging furiously as he pranced from one window to the other, back and forth, all the way until we got to our destination.

When we pulled into one of Palos Park’s many beautiful forest preserves, I parked the car and grabbed his leash.  I held it in my hand rather than attaching it to his collar, as Brian had encouraged, opened the back door of the car and out Duncan bound.  He stayed close by my side, walking briskly through the parking lot and over the attached opened field, his nose to the ground the entire way – sniffing as if his life depended on it.

We took the path that wound along the tree line as far as we could see. It eventually disappeared into the woods – and so did we.   And here, this was the spot that DDuncan4uncan felt free.  He started to run.  He ran along the ravine, jumping over felled trees and their stumps and through the thick patches of roots and brush.  I was walking at a brick pace behind him.  He’d get just so far ahead of me, stop to look and make sure I was still there, and then wait for me.  As I would catch up, he’d begin this routine again. He’d race down hills and then back up again, huffing and puffing and panting.  Always keeping his eye on me to make sure I was there.

 

 

I was amazed!  I Loved it!  And, I knew he did too.  It was beautiful out and so peaceful in the woods.  There were leaves matted all along the forest flogooddunca5or and winding trickles of streams.  If you stopped and listened carefully, you could hear the sounds of forest life all around you.  I felt invigorated!  And, Alive!  And like, Pioneer Woman!  Yes!  I was keeping up and hiking deep into the forest and through muddy underbrush – (very unlike me!)  I quickly discovered that I loved this part of Palos and wandering freely all through this peaceful, beautiful setting. It was a glorious afternoon.

 

 

Soon it was time to turn around and head back.  So we did.  Back along the ravines and the hills.  Back over the felled trees and muddy earth.  Duncan led the way, I followed.

When we got back to the car, he hopped up into the front seat as if he felt he had somehow earned that place today.  I walked around to my side of the car, got in, opened up the windows of the stuffy car, turned on the ignition and slowly pulled out of the parking lot.  We were hot and dirty.  My shoes had mud on them.  He had dirt all over his fur.  And, I was sorry to see our time in the woods come to an end.  It had been such a great first experience together out there.

I looked over at Duncan.  He was standing sideways on the passenger seat, head sticking out the half-opened window.  His ears were flying back in the wind.  His big gummy lips were flapping in the breeze.  His tail was wagging.

I smiled to myself as we headed down the road towards home.  I thought back to the time one year ago almost to the day when I went against Clark’s wishes and brought home our new family member.  I knew deep in my heart that my decision was the best one.  And, Nope, not a single day had gone by since that decision where either of us have regretted adding him to our family tree.

 

Duncan(1)

 

How popular are you?

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My life has recently taken a 360 degree about-face.  It went from spending every spare moment I could squeeze out of my day on writing, to journaling 24/7.  Some might say that those are the same thing.  I’m here to tell you that they are very, very different.

Think of  journaling as the reader’s digest version of writing.  It focuses strictly on the peaks and valley’s of your day, month or  year.  I stumbled upon this creative art form while lurking and posting on Instagram – (one of the very many addictions and time soaks of my day.)

In last month’s post I touched on this new fascination of mine.  I mentioned that I had started an Etsy Shop at this address – Journal Creations –  where you could view and purchase my lovely planners and journal books. <— another shameless plug.

I did not, however, mention at that time that some people consider it a place of online popularity as well as very competitive and highly lucrative business opportunities.  I ignorantly neglected to mention this fact because until recently, I was not aware of it.  I mean, c’mon!  How was I to know that there were people out there looking to get rich off of the idea of planning and journaling those very special moments of your life.  I was clueless to the fact that there were women slinkinkg around the dark corners of the internet, keeping their ever watchful eye on the total number of their competitor’s “Instagram likes & views” and growing online presence.  Apparently, it’s a cardinal sin to rise above someone else’s popularity who happens to be peddling the same wares as you.  Once someone rises to top spot of queen bee on IG,  they plan on settling in and staying there come hell or high water.  (Sheeeeesh – I had a lot to learn.)

I became personally aware of this nasty side of the competitive nature of Etsy Shop owners last month.  I was logging into my account feed to see if anyone had noticed anything that I had posted since late the night before when my eyes about popped out of my head.  I could not believe what I was seeing on my ever so virginal feed.  Someone had not only posted rude comments directly under one of my journal photo’s, but also, viciously abusive remarks as well.   I sat dazed and a little offended and surprised.  Did this kind of stuff seriously exist?  Was it an acceptable and normal practice for an online community to speak to each other in this fashion?

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I got a creepy feeling.  I looked over my shoulder as if  I was being watched.  I could feel my heart start to race a bit.  Looking back at the screen, I reread the vicious words again hoping that I had misunderstood their meaning the first time.

Nope.  I had not misunderstood.  There they were staring me in the face.  And, if that wasn’t bad enough, they were big and bold because just that morning I had changed my usual discreet font to the more popular Comic Sans Size 12 Bold Font.

What in the world?   I again looked over my shoulder.  Then quickly up at the small dot of a campeephole1era on my laptop screen.  I wondered if I should cover it up with some thick masking tape in case the culprit was somehow spying on me.  (And, if they were, did I look all skewed and bow faced like you see on TV when someone is peeping at someone through a peephole in a door??)

My first instinct was to quickly log out of my account, turn off my pc and hide it under something heavy… ( like my hubby’s fully lined arctic suit which he keeps in the back of the basement closet in case we ever get stuck in a blizzard and can’t get out of the house and he has to trudge slowly across the neighborhood through the chest high snow for milk and bread…..)

Oh this was ridiculous.  This new journaling interest of mine was just a little hobby I had become interested in doing during my free time.  The last thing on my mind was that I’d  suddenly become rich and famous and the bread-winner of our humble household because of my popular online presence and business talents.  Sheesh!

I was no online newbie with my head in the sand.  I had heard all about online confrontations and these kind of unpleasant things happening.  I wanted no part of some foul-mouthed, super scary cyber world, popular wanna-be.  I didn’t want some online tough guy (or, in this case, tough girl) finding out where I lived.  Or worse yet, muddying up my good online fake name to all of my online virtual fake named friends whom I’ve never seen or met or talked to and probably never would!

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So, I ended up doing what most middle-aged women would do who found themselves in this unsettling situation.  I called my hubs.

Me: sounding a little sulky – “…hi clark….”

Hubs: loud, hectic noises in the background – “Hey, honey bunny!!”

(Hurray! That salutation was a sure sign that he was in a good mood.   Otherwise I would have gotten a distracted grunt.)

Me: still sulking – “….are you busy?”

Hubs: “Nope, I was just thinking about what to have for lunch”

(It was only 9:30am)

Me: silence & a little annoyed that he did not notice the distress in my voice.

Me: continued silence and a big sigh

Hubs: “Is everything ok?”

(Ding ding ding!!!  OK, that was better.  Now we were getting somewhere.)

I went into every gory detail of what had turned my usual happy morning coffee and online lurking time into an unpleasant experience.  I told him about how nervous the entire incident had made me.  I told him that I was going to give up painting and journaling forever because there was an online bully that was after me!

He listened intently and gave a audible sigh of relief realizing that this time it was not him that I was perturbed with this time.

After I finished relaying all the gruesome facts to him, he scoffed.  He told me that the entire thing was uncalled for.  He said that the online browbeater was out of line!  And then, for good measure, he tossed in that if he found out who it was, he was going to kick their ass for upsetting me!  (My hero!!)

I felt better about the situation after emptying my troubled soul to Clark.  He called me frequently in the next few hours to make sure I was ok.  I think he was so relieved that he was not the subject of my dismay (this time)…that he went full on caveman.

That evening when he got home, we looked into it together.  And, together we found out that the source of the online intimidation was a loud mouthed, 20-year-old punk who was trying to get me to walk away from what was sure to be heavy competition for her.

Good Grief!!  I was being bullied by a snot nosed 20-year-old?  It was laughable!   After getting my nerve up and wiping the moisture from my sweaty, nervous palms, I fired back a mildly mature, rather annoyed reply to her through a private message.  (After-all, I didn’t want to scare off any of my possible future customers.) I told her to watch her language and attitude.   I  also told her that I was very sorry if she felt she was the only Etsy shop owner that had the right to sell this type of product, but that I fully intended to continue to sell mine.

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Then I cowardly put her on ignore and blocked her from my account.  And, wallah!.. just like that, my world was all roses and sunshine again.

I’ve not had any trouble since.  My business has grown and the ideas are flying out of my head at a pace faster than I can keep up with.

I think about that bully every now and then.  I feel sorry for the youth today.  I feel badly about how the virtual world plays such a significant role in their lives.  It’s disturbing how caught up in all of this online stuff people get.  How they keep track of their “likes”…and how many followers they have…and how well-known they have become to the swarms of people that they don’t even know in real life.  It’s sad and disheartening.

Ok, and if I were to be honest with all of you and confess full disclosure, I’d admit that I peek at her account from time to time………..just to make sure I’m more popular than her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I carry my stain stick with me – Im officially my mother.

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We’ve been told all our lives that the day would come.  The day when we will officially turn into our Moms.  It’s universal.  It’s a mysterious phenomenon that can not be avoided and can not be controlled.  One day you wake up and bam! – You can’t keep your kids names straight, you remind people to grab a jacket before leaving the house and you’ve become a bit more judgmental.  *You’re going to wear that?*

I noticed the change slowly. I shrugged off the first few warnings, thinking it was just paranoia. I brushed off the comments when people started saying I looked so much like her. I ignored the first few signs, thinking they were just coincidences.  A little similarity here and there.  A comment about turning this car around, which I swore I’d never utter.  The gestures.  The mannerisms.  All the little things.   I’d catch myself standing with my hands on my hips, with a “because I said so” attitude all over the place.  I chalked it up to a bad day, while in the back of my mind a quiet voice whispered to me, Good Lord, it’s happening.  

I’ve noticed recently that I’m prone to spilling little bits of my lunch or dinner on my shirt.  Something my Mom was famous for.  It happens most when Clark is with me.  “You’ve got a big blob of something on your shirt”  I got tired of today’s young food servers staring dumbfounded at me, a look of confusion on their little freckled faces when I asked for a small glass of soda water to dab on my spill.  So, I’ve started carrying stain sticks around in my purse.  That’s right.  I admit it.  I carry stain sticks.  Oh, I’ve seen older men just eat with a napkin tucked in around their neck to catch the spillage, like a big adult sized bib, but I think I’m a few years away from that yet.

The metamorphism has taken place slowly.  Suddenly, running three errands to three different stores in a single day is exhausting.  It’s just too much.  And, I run the errands early because I feel the need to be home by 4:00 to start thinking about dinner.  (By the time Clark gets home from work, I’ve usually got the restaurant all picked out.  Hurray!!)  It’s not that we don’t have enough food in the house to cook a dinner.  No, we have plenty of food.  After-all, I’ve started to stock up on things (just like my mom did) because if a storm or inclement weather is predicted, God forbid we don’t have enough tuna in the house.  Or, frozen bread. My mom stocked up on things because there was a big sale she could not pass up – even if it was for something she never used.  I’m on the lookout for that habit to start creeping into my everyday happenings.

So, why is it that our biggest fear in life is that we’re turning into our mothers? As a young girl, it’s a dream to be just like your mom.  But, as you grow older it’s more like every woman’s nightmare.  No matter how amazing our moms are, (and let’s face it, they truly are amazing) there is something scary about turning into them.

But, is it truly the fear of turning into them that has us all tied up in knots?  Or, could it be the acknowledgment that we’re simply getting older. We suddenly start to walk into rooms and completely forget why we went there in the first place.  *what was I looking for?*  Our tolerance for alcohol started to diminish.  It’s that second Cabernet or Martini that always puts me over the edge. (But what harm’s a little cockie now and then?)  We shut the drapes at dusk so we can get into our jammies and be comfy and we get up at the crack of dawn declaring ourselves “morning people” when in reality, we are just getting older and need less sleep.  We start to choose to stay in on weekend nights rather than go out and when we do go out, we go close to home.

So, have Mom’s been getting a bad rap all these years?  Are we really so opposed to “becoming” the women who raised us and nurtured us and guided us through everything we know about life?

They were there for us when puberty turned us ugly and hostile.  They stood by us when we resented their very beings and didn’t hold anything against us when we came out on the other side and became human again.  And, as we grew into adulthood our mom’s actually became our friends – someone we enjoyed spending time with and talking to.  All in all, when you really think about it, there probably are worse people we could morph into.

So, remember what your mom always told you.  One day someone is going to be thinking the same about you!

How Absurd – we’re cool!  Who wouldn’t want to be like us??

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Facebook – Do you overshare?

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This week on Facebook, I ran across a post that made me chuckle to myself.  It was  a cleverly written piece of satire pointing out just how absurd we’ve all become with oversharing our lives on social-media.  (Satire – a genre of literature or writing in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals.)

I showed it to Clark.  He chuckled.  I showed it to my friends.  They chuckled.  I showed it to my kids and they chuckled.  In conversations all week, I mentioned it to my friends and acquaintances.  Everyone chuckled.  And, everyone commented similarly.  Well, that certainly isn’t me.  I don’t overshare on Facebook.  At least not to the point of  Ad Nauseum…….. (ad nau·se·am (ăd nô′zē-əm) adv. To a disgusting or ridiculous degree; to the point of nausea)

That same thought ran through my mind.  That certainly doesn’t apply to meeee…. Or, does it? (millisecond of doubt)….. Nah.  So what.  So my Facebook page is covered with massive amounts of selfies.   And, updates on what I’m doing & where you can find me most hours of most days.   Just because I’ve posted 52 photo’s of my dog in the past few months, all basically in the same position with the same look on his face, that doesn’t really mean I’ve share too much.  (He’s sooooo cute!)

  duncan collage

It’s not like I’m one of those overbearing new parents who lets us know the exact moment of conception or what the baby looks like in the womb.

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And, thank the Lord above that I was never one of those people who shared TMI about bodily functions…

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But in all fairness, I not only have the link to Facebook bookmarked on the front page of my PC,  but also on the first page of my smartphone – which is like the speed dial of the social media world!!   This gives me instant access to being *spring into action* ready to post something I find incredibly interesting.  Like, a picture of what’s sitting in front of me on my lunch plate.  Or, quoting some incredibly humorous comment that came out of one of my kids mouths.

This weekdislike, Facebook announced the unveiling of it’s new *thumbs down* dislike button.  I’m not really sure how I feel about this.  While it’s true that not every post on the social-media site always seems deserving of a virtual thumbs up, do we really want to make it easier to spread negativity online?  Don’t we do enough of that in real life?  Isn’t Social-Media the place we turn to when we want to share with everyone how absolutely (and a little unrealistically) fabulous our lives are?

What will mom’s everywhere do when they find a big ‘ol thumbs down on the posted picture of Jr.   Or, when someone gives us a thumbs down on the photo of the tuna fish sammie on our plate.  What if someone decides to tell me that they DON”T think my dog is deserving of the last 40 pictures I’ve posted of him.  (thank goodness for the *unfriend* button.)  It shall be interesting!

Until then, my Facebook page will remain discreet and humble.  Like always.  And I imagine yours will, too.


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