Trees

On October 25, 2015October 25, 2015 By Peggy BereIn Musings21 Comments

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When I was in grade school we were expected to memorize the poem Trees, by Joyce Kilmer. It was during 4th grade, I think. I sat at my desk reading the words over and over. Then I would close my eyes and try to recall one sentence at a time, peeking down at my paper each time I needed a prompt. Silently starting at the beginning of the poem again each time I had mastered a new line. Closing my eyes over and over and mouthing the words silently until I had memorized the entire poem.

In 4th grade, when I was 9-10, the emotion behind these words were lost on me. The poem was strictly an assignment. A task that I needed to work through until complete. When I was finished, we moved on to a different assignment.

Today, the words and the meaning behind the words are not lost on me. Especially at this time of year. In autumn when the trees are so full of beauty and rich color, the words to this poem wash over you and fill you with a feeling of gratitude and appreciation for all of God’s wonderful gifts to us. I’m so grateful for the beauty of autumn and for the sense of renewal that goes hand in hand with this beautiful season.

The trees seem to be at their peak color in the Midwest right now. My favorite season. Fall. It’s like floating over a carpet of bursting, vibrant colors every time you walk out your front door.

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Trees

I think that I shall never see

a poem as lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest

against the sweet earth’s flowing breast

A tree that looks at God all day,

And lifts her leafy arms to pray

A tree that may in summer wear

A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain

Who intimately lives with rain

Poems are made by fools like me,

But only God can make a tree.

– Joyce Kilmer (1856-1918)

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Where Were You On October 2, 1998?

On October 2, 2015October 2, 2015 By Peggy BereIn Musings17 Comments

It feels a bit like cheating. But, some words are worth repeating.

I woke up this morning thinking about this exact post and knew it was worth re-posting. For those of you out there whose hearts are tender – to the new readers to my blog since I last ran this piece, I dedicate this to you.

Where were you on October 2, 1998?

You probably have no clue. If you racked your brain trying to remember, you probably would not be able to recall. But, if I asked you where you were on other significant dates in history, chances are you’d probably not only recall where you were, but what you were doing and who you were with.

Where were you September 11th, 2001? Where were you when Kennedy got shot? Or, when Pearl Harbor got bombed? Some of you may recall where you were when Nixon resigned. Or, when John Lennon got shot. Or, when Elvis died.

These significant days in history act as markers on the timeline of our lives. Because they were so catastrophic and life altering, we can remember exactly where we were and what we were doing in that specific moment in time.

We can also recall our specific whereabouts in our times of personal crisis and joy. When a baby is born. When a loved one dies. When a best friend calls us up and tells us they are getting married.

October 2, 1998 – a significant day in my life.

You may not recall where you exactly were then, but I know exactly where I was. That was the day my Dad lost his battle with Cancer. I was with him. My Mom and one of my two Brothers were there, too. 16 years ago today. (That’s so hard to believe!!) I was sitting on the side of his bed holding his hand. It was the first time I was with someone when they took their last breath. It was the first time I held someones hand and felt them go completely still and feel their life end. It was surreal. And sad. And at the moment, something I could not wrap my brain around. Even tho I knew he was near the end of his life, nothing quite prepares you for that moment when your parent actually passes away. Breathing in life one moment – and in the next instance, complete stillness. Their soul moving towards Heaven. It was a powerful moment in my life and a precise moment on my personal timeline where I will always remember where I was and what I was doing.

I’ve lost both of my parents now. My Dad 16 years ago and my Mom more recently – just 20 months ago. February 14th – Valentines Day 2014. I did not have the privilege to be with her and tell her goodbye when her time to leave this earth arrived. But I’m confident that she knew exactly how I felt and how much I loved and respected her. I’m confident that she knew how much all of my siblings loved her.

While I’m still adjusting to life without my Mom, the old saying really is true – “Time Heals All Wounds.” You start to come out of the fog gradually and learn to smile and laugh again.

My Dad was Irish. He was hardworking and funny and sentimental. He liked sports, Notre Dame and beer. He passed his sense of humor and hard work ethic on to all of us. Thanks Dad!! When my brothers and sisters and I get together, all we have to do is say one word to each other or give each other one look that was his and we all start laughing. And we laugh long and hard. And we remember him with fondness and joy and with the sentimentality that he unknowingly passed on to all of us. Time heals all wounds.

We remember and speak of our personal experiences and that helps to keep those collective memories of history and personal tragedy and triumph vivid and fresh. And then, suddenly, 10 years have passed. Or, 20. Or, 50

I miss my Dad. Especially today. I miss my Mom, too. I will never quite get used to them being gone – or not being able to pick up the phone to talk to them. And, I’ll never get used to no longer being able to just get in the car to take a road trip to see them. But I am grateful for two such loving, selfless parents who showered me with unconditional love. I’m grateful for the memories of their laughter and smiles. And kindness.

When was YOUR October 2, 1998?? We all have them.

The good new is, Time Heals all Wounds.

Source: Where Were You On October 2, 1998?

Happy New Year!

On September 23, 2015 By Peggy BereIn Musings22 Comments

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I wonder how many of us feel the sentiment of renewal with the changing of the seasons. Speaking for myself, I know do. The beginning of Fall feels more to me like the new year than January 1st does.

Why is that? Why do we feel this sense of new beginnings as we say goodbye to Summer and roll out the welcome mat for Fall? Is it the cooler air that greets us each morning that gives us a new sense of refreshed energy and commitment? Is it that in the back of our minds we remember that this time of year was when we said farewell, for now, to the carefree days of summer and hello a new school year? A school year and special time of life that held the promise of reconnecting with old friends and scheduled routines and a hopeful, exciting future.

It seems that when I converse with people who live in an area that boasts the blessing of experiencing all four seasons to their fullest, Autumn seems to be the favorite of so many. For so many reasons…

“I Love Football!”

“I Love the changing of the colors!”

“The cooler tempts are a delightful welcome and lovely change from the hot, humid tempts we just experienced”

“The kids are back in school so now I get a little *me* time to invest in things I Love to do”

“We travel in the Fall!”

“My Bible Study and programs start-up again!”

“The holiday season is just around the corner!”

“I finally can get back to the gym!”

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Clark and I tend to travel in the Fall. (He’s nicknamed ‘Clark” for that very reason; Clark Griswold..) It’s a popular time for traveling. It used to be a well hidden secret that September and October were the best months to get away. Now-a-days the secret has gotten out. While you can still get around without the congestion of heavy traffic, more and more people these days have discovered the perks of fall travel and are choosing the autumn months as their time to explore the world around them. The weather in September and October is still gorgeous. On most days you experience warm days and cool nights. The prices for air fare and lodging fall extensively making it very budget friendly. The added bonus is that the crowds are finally gone. Something that is a win/win to us! So, we hit the road.

Travel, in and of itself, always gives me a sense of renewal. As does Autumn. A new season. A time to begin again. A time to start over. Happy New Year!

Is Fall your favorite season? Why? If not, what IS your favorite time of year?

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Why do we resist change?

On September 15, 2015September 15, 2015 By Peggy BereIn Musings20 Comments

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Finally, a break in the hot, humid temperatures that we’ve all been victims to the past 3+ months. Along with these cooler tempts comes a new season, renewal of the soul and the world outside your window. While kids and teens everywhere mourn the loss of their summer freedom, their parents rejoice in a small reprieve from the chaos that accompanies summer. Goodbye summer! Hello fall!

Change. It’s inevitable. There’s nothing constant in life except for that fact that it changes. People generally fall into two camps where change is concerned. Those who love it and those who fear it. I’ll admit I tend to wander towards the fear camp. I resist change. It freaks me out. (Probably even more than public speaking.) I’m comfy right where I’m at. Why change something that’s not broken?

My summer project, besides writing, traveling and weddings, was to revamp my blog. It was time. It had looked the same since the day I started it. I loved the format of it and the look was still pleasing. But, it was not fresh anymore. It had run it’s course and it was time for a change.

Like so many others who resist change, I couldn’t quite get myself to do it. I logged onto my blog in June while I was on my summer hiatus, thought about how I could make a few tweaks, and immediately closed it up again. I made up some excuses for not doing it at that time. “The dog needed a walk!” Or, “Clark was hungry (when isn’t he) and I needed to make him a sammie… (Of course, I kid).

The stalling went on for months. Most of summer, actually. In the back of my mind, I knew that I was working with a retired theme and that if I actually changed it, I would lose the option to revert it back again. That thought terrified me. One press of the button and Poof!…everything I was accustomed to at my WordPress home would be lost for good. My beloved blog would look completely different to me. No more pink wallpaper. No more clip art header. It was like saying goodbye to one of my babies. Soooooo unnecessary!

But, it was necessary. It was a change that was desperately needed. Last spring I had an awakening regarding the design of my blog. I suddenly felt like the homeowner on the block that still had the 60’s themed home – Shag carpeting, avocado appliances and big, flowery wallpaper. Plastic laminated counters and cabinets, formica kitchen table and chairs. (Groovy!) It was still very comfy and everything worked fine, but it was as if I was stuck in a time warp. (For my insensitivity with the time warp comment, I apologize to all of you change resisters who may still be stuck 5 decades in the past.)

So, I bit the bullet and convinced myself that change COULD be good. I wasn’t going to fear it. I knew that with change and by its very definition, it was going to mean separating and departure from the past. While change can bring on a feeling of loss of control and excessive uncertainty, I knew that with a well thought out plan and clear, simple guidelines, I would still be in charge. I could conquer my fear and resistance to change!! Departing from the past and looking forward to something new could be exciting!! After all, we do it every single year, several times, when the seasons change. And, we tend to love it!

Yes, it’s cool outside today. Fall is here. My favorite season. The air is crisp and fresh. It’s more enjoyable to be outdoors. Soon, mother nature will be showing off her gorgeous array of autumn hues. We’ll walk out our front doors to the beauty of blanketed, leaf covered lawns, streets and parks. We’ll soon start to dig out our favorite warm sweaters and jackets from the seasonal clothes we carefully stow away in the spring. We’ll put away our shorts and pull out our favorite, comfy jeans. And, closed towed shoes and fashion boots. The sun will gradually begin to greet us a little bit later each morning and say goodbye earlier each evening. And, that’s ok. Change can be good! It can greet us with a big, friendly, warm familiar feeling. It can also tease us with a feeling of something exciting and new in the air.

If you haven’t already done so, take a peek at my main blog page, Being Margaret, here – scroll through it, make yourself at home and let me know how you like (or not) the change.

Perhaps there’s a change in store for your life just lurking around the corner. Embrace it. It just might be the most exciting thing you’ve experienced in a while.

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Where Were You On October 2, 1998?

On October 2, 2014October 2, 2014 By Peggy BereIn Musings93 Comments

Where were you on October 2, 1998?

You probably have no clue. If you racked your brain trying to remember, you probably would not be able to recall. But, if I asked you where you were on other significant days in history, chances are you’d probably not only recall where you were, but what you were doing and who you were with.

We can also recall our specific whereabouts in our times of personal crisis and joy. When a baby is born. When a loved one dies. When a best friend calls us up and tells us they are getting married.

October 2, 1998 – a significant day in my life.

I’ve lost both of my parents now. My Dad 16 years ago and my Mom more recently – just 8 months ago. February 14th – Valentines Day 2014. I did not have the privilege to be with her and tell her goodbye when her time to leave this earth arrived. But I’m confident that she knew exactly how I felt and how much I loved and respected her. I’m confident that she knew how much all of my siblings loved her.

While I’m still adjusting to life without my Mom, the old saying really is true – “Time Heals All Wounds.” You start to come out of the fog gradually and learn to smile and laugh again.

When was YOUR October 2, 1998?? We all have them.

The good new is, Time Heals all Wounds.

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Welcome October!!

On October 1, 2014 By Peggy BereIn Musings25 Comments

October could possibly be the best month of the year!

Yep, Anne said it best!!

Anne

But if she doesn’t convince you ~ maybe some of these Autumn favorites will!!

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Welcome October!!

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What’s Your Favorite Month??

Until death do us part

On September 30, 2014October 13, 2014 By Peggy BereIn Musings56 Comments

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It’s Tuesday morning. It’s been my norm for years and years to get up early. Very early. Usually between 4:30 – 5am. Since I decided to retire early – last December – I’ve gotten into the habit of sleeping in late. Well, late for me. I usually wake up around 7am. This was alarming to me at first. I felt shame and guilt. I felt lazy. As my Mom used to say to me, “half the day is gone!” It must be an Irish thing. She used to get up early. For as long as I can remember, she was up before the sunrise. She would have half of her housework done by 7am. But, I’ve gotten used to the luxury of sleeping in “late.”

So, its morning. I’m having coffee. I’m sitting at my kitchen counter and looking at a blank, white screen in front of my sleepy eyes. My blog is calling to me. It pulls me in. But for the past few months I’ve had a sort of writers block. Clark says I’m forcing it – that when I’m ready to write again, it will come naturally. Like it always has. And, he’s right.

Brian – my youngest son – has said to me in the past that when I don’t have anything to write about, perhaps it’s because I have not been doing anything “write worthy”. He’s observant. I believe this to be the case of my self-proclaimed block.

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I could chalk it up to the transition of summer into fall if I really needed a scapegoat. The changing of the seasons. The fault could be laid at the heels of that happy sad place we find ourselves in when saying goodbye to one season and welcoming in the next. I always feel a little bit melancholy as the seasons change. And when I’m melancholy, I tend to take a break from writing. Oh, the changing seasons is a cycle of life that I love – one that I really do not think I could live without witnessing year in and out, but still, it’s a constant reminder of how fast time goes. The seasons speed by. You blink your eyes and time flies. Really, it would be unusual to go through an entire Summer without hearing at least a dozen times…that old familiar phrase..”I can’t believe the Summer is almost over!” And it’s true. It’s always a shock to see how fast it went by and how the next season has miraculously arrived without you noticing that it snuck up on you.

But, there it is. Fresh and new. A new beginning. A new cycle. A new Season. A fresh start. With all the promise and excitement of what lies ahead for you. New resolutions. New untapped energy. Come on New Season…I’m ready!

Seasons Change

However, If I am going to be honest, my writer’s block could most likely be chalked up to the Clark Factor. My better half tends to be around the house more than he used to be. Right now he is upstairs snoozing. He took the day off. In all honesty, he takes a lot of time off of work these days. He is somewhat semi retired. He usually golf’s on the days he is not working, but I had a mini empty-Nester melt down last week and accused him of not wanting to spend time with me. Suddenly, this week he decided to spend his time off with me rather than hitting the links with his golf buddies. Coincidence? Nah, I don’t think so. But, I didn’t fight it. I decided to soak in the attention and enjoy spending some quality one on one time with my Hubs! YaY!!

Booo!! By noon on the first day that we spent together, I was wondering what in the world I was thinking when I practically bullied him into spending his day off with me rather than the guys. In theory, I was going to love having him around!! Hurray!! Us time!! In reality, it didn’t quite work out that way. He was in my space. All.Day.Long. It’s not that he was actually doing anything wrong – I just had not realized how much I liked my days to myself and my routine kept in place. I didn’t want to spend my day running to the hardware store with him. Or, dropping him off at the car dealership to get his car looked at. I didn’t want to eat lunch at 10:30am or watch the financial station on TV all morning. Or worse yet, watch golf on TV. And, when we went to the grocery store together, it took some getting used to watching him plow the cart down the center of the aisle and getting into some sort of freakish road rage event with the other shoppers. *Holy Cow!!*

By 3pm that day, I started to suspect that he was purposely trying to tick me off so I would beg him to please.. please, for the sake of our marriage…go golfing!!! And, I did. I told him to go golf with his friends. He was happier, I was happier. I realized that having him around gave me an odd sense of feeling all out of whack.

Slowly (and Thank Goodness!!) eventually he reverted back to his old ways. I once again became a (happy) golf widow. And more importantly, I was able to write again. He still hangs around somewhat in the early mornings before he heads out for his day with the guys, but that’s a compromise I can live with.

So now, these days when I am happily alone at home and carrying on with my usual routine, I wonder about what full retirement will be like. How do retiree’s do it? How do they learn to live together all day long without driving each other crazy?? Is it something that simply takes getting used to? And if so, how long is the transition period?

I Love My Hubs!! He’s my better half and my soul-mate and for better or worse, he’s my best friend!! Until Death Do us part!!! But, I pull my hair out when he’s around all day. I feel like I’m losing my ever-lovin’ mind!! I can not be the only one who goes nuts when your loved one suddenly decides to spend the day with you. Can I?

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