I’m sure by now you have all heard about the massive security breach of credit and debit cards used at Target stores across America.  During the 2013 Holiday season no less.  Now, this week, we hear of another cyber attack and data breach at Home Depots from coast to coast.

I was having coffee with Clark when the story hit the news last week.  I could not believe my ears.  How can this happen twice in the span of a year, I asked him.  And, how do these cyber thief’s pull off these big scale heists?

It’s that cloud!  That cyber cloud that we’re all up in.  That’s the culprit and the source of these leaks.

 

Me: I don’t understand all of this cloud stuff.

 Clark:  *…turns to me *blank stare*

 Me: Well, do you?

 Clark:  *continued blank stare, followed by incredulous look*  pfffft, of course I do….. (insulted)

 Me:  Well, then what do they mean by “you’re info is stored up in the cloud?”  What cloud?  Where’s this mysterious cloud at? Is it an actual, literal, tangible location?

 Clark:   *Well, they don’t tell you thattt. 

Me:   Oh, so you don’t know either. 

 

 

I thought about this for a long time.  I don’t like the fact that I don’t feel safe using my credit card at Target anymore.   Target!!   It’s my home away from home.   I’m there a lot.  It’s not the same Target from my youth.  It’s got snappy advertising now.  And, fun products.  I can get lost in there for hours.  Not to mention, it’s a great place to spend money.  What was once a store for purchasing your cleaning supplies, is now an oasis for wasting hours of time and hard earned cash.

 

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 Twelve ways to spend your time and money at Target

 

 

1. Circle the parking lot for 15 minutes looking for the best parking space.  If you are there during a busy season, (holiday and school supply shopping) keep your eye on the front door of the store as you enter the parking lot.  As customers walk out, gun it over to the aisle they are headed for.  Then do the slow creep two feet behind them, stalking them all the way to their spot with your car.  Wait for them to load their stuff into trunk, pull out and then….Success!

 

2. Upon entering the store, go directly to the Starbucks that is conveniently located near the entrance.  Purchase an expensive latte with extra whip topping.  You’re going to be strolling the aisles for a while.  Go for the Venti.

 

3. Head straight to the cosmetic section.  Wander through these aisles for a long time.  Purchase new makeup, makeup remover, wrinkle creams, hair shampoos & conditioners, smoothing potions, frizz sprays, gloss sprays, tanning lotions, trendy colored nail polish.  Feel satisfied and move on.

 

4. On your way to the cleaning supplies, get diverted into the clothing section.  Buy a t-shirt in every color.  You can never have enough.  Set the Latte down and browse through the work out gear.  Toss some yoga pants into your cart.  They are comfy to wear while watching TV.  Notice the new PJ sets as you pass up the intimate apparel section.  Be strong.  You don’t need new PJ’s.

 

5. Take a leisurely stroll through the housewares section.   Decide you need some new picture frames for the digital photos on your phone that you won’t end up having printed.  Purchase two.  Also, put the star shaped candy dish that caught your eye into your cart.   Smell every candle on display.  Decide you can not live without the tropical scented one.  Toss it into your cart and move on.

 

6. Feel a bit of Guilt.  Decide that you don’t really need all of the items you have in your cart.  Dig the tropical scented candle back out.  Look around to see if anyone is watching you.  Stuff it in between the two stacks of Kitchen towels you are standing in front of.

 

7. Think about purchasing those kitchen towels.  Your kitchen could use an facelift.  Toss the new towels in your cart.

 

8. Notice the absence of cleaning supplies in your cart.  Circle back around to the household aisle.  Hurray!!  Toilet Paper is on sale.  Grab the large, awkward sized 20 roll package and place it under the cart.  Grab another one since it’s on sale.  Balance it on top of cart.

 

9. Look down at phone and notice Text From Hubby  Where are you??  Are you going to be home soon?  Ignore text. Turn off phone.

 

10. Wheel over to the magazine and book racks.  Flip through your favorite decorating magazine.  And cooking.  Buy both.  Toss in this weeks People for good measure.

 

11. Head to the Checkout.  Feel a bit shocked when the cashier rings up the grand total of $187.35.  Fret over purchasing with Credit Card for fear of data getting breached.  Shrug off the worry and hand over your Master Card.  Sign on dotted line and you’re on your way.

 

12. Head for parking lot.  Look for car.  Where’s my car?  Which aisle am I parked in????