Does this make me look fat?

A timeless question ~ handed down from generation to generation.  My hubs would say, “a loaded question.”  He has gotten wise over the years.  Regardless of how something looks on me, he tells me it looks “Great!”  Which is a bunch of hogwash.  I could be wearing a potato sack and he’d say “You look great!!”  If I want a real opinion, I ask one of my boys.  They are brutally honest. Ouch.  

And, if we are honest with ourselves, we know that when we ask that question, we already know the answer. Speaking strictly for myself, I’m not realllly asking if something looks ok on me.  But rather ~ can you tell that I am taking small, short breaths because I am squeezed into this pair of jeans?

I’ve noticed that time-honored question seems to have morphed into a plethora of 21st century questions. Where does it end?  Does this bracelet make my butt look big?   Does this car I’m riding in make my profile look large? 

Retailers long ago cashed in on our insecurities and ridiculous need to fit in and look perfect.  Our mothers were brainwashed into thinking they needed to wear girdles.  The girdles of yesteryear were updated and given a new look.  They are now called Spanx.  Anyone who has ever tried to fit their body into a pair of these know that they squeeze you with the force of a vise grip.

I bought a pair for a wedding I was going to a few years ago.  I was excited at how slim they were going to make me look!!  I mean, I did not want to upstage the bride or anything,  but the printing on the package guaranteed a smooth and slender fit for any female of any size. I felt like I had won the lottery!  I did not have to diet.  I could just wear Spanx!  I was excited at the prospect of eating a piece of bread!  That carb filled goodie was about to do battle with my new Spanx ~ game on!

I rushed home with my new purchase.  I was anxious to see my transformation in the mirror.  I had never really been “skinny” before.  I was excited!  Clark was really going to be blown away when he saw how slim I looked.  He might not even recognize me!

I went up to my bedroom to try them on.  I think I took the stairs two at a time because I was so excited!  I opened the package and took out the Spanx.  Hmmmm.  I just stared at them.  *blink*   Oh, surely this was a mistake.  How was I suppose to fit my body into something that looked like it might fit on my arm.  I decided to lock my door.  I could not take a chance on Clark walking in on this.

I thought to myself, they must be made of some kind of super stretchy material that gives when you put them on. WRONG.  I struggled and wiggled and I think I started to sweat.  It was a chore.  I got them up to my thighs and noticed that all of the “extra me” was working its way up with the Spanx.  Good Grief. At that rate, yes, I would look smooth ~  but I would also look like I was wearing an intertube around my waist.

I felt deflated.  Let down.  I eventually got them on.  It was like my body was in a sausage casing.  They were hot.  I got nervous at the thought of having to go to the bathroom during the reception and struggling to get them back on.  I felt my feet start to swell.  This was not good.  I mentally pictured myself walking up the aisle in the church to be seated in my new and slimming look!  I was walking in a mechanical way.  I looked like a smooth robot.  Forget it.  Off they came.  I was not going to live through a night of torture just to look lump-free.  I mean, I think my friends accept me lumps and all.   Afterall, they’re all lumpy, too.

How many times have we heard it? ~ Beauty is skin deep~  Go easy on yourself.  Be the best you that you can be.  Our real beauty comes from within.

So, next time someone asks you if what they are wearing makes them look fat, answer them honestly.  “You are beautiful.” Love is love.  Does it really matter if  our posteriors look big at this moment in time in those jeans?  Not really.